


My Boy

by SeaPockle



Category: South Park
Genre: Angst, His mom wanted a girl not a boy, I swear I care about Craig... WHAT DONT TAKE MY CRAIG PROTECTION CLUB MEMBERSHIP AWAY!, M/M, Overdose, Past self abuse, more tags are gonna be added, recovering, that feeling of being invisible
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-10-14 08:51:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17505455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeaPockle/pseuds/SeaPockle
Summary: When your alone for so long and you try so hard to convince yourself that you want to be alone when really you know your lying to yourself and you just want someone to walk over to you and say“Your not alone” yeah that feeling.





	1. Chapter 1

 

Craig tucker had always loved his dad. The way he smelt, the way he talked, the way he dressed. He loved it all one hundred percent so when his mother and father had gotten a divorce it was devastating for Craig. He had lost the biggest male role model in his life after all. Craig used to visit every weekend. But the visits changed from every weekend, to every month, to every year. The father son relationship Craig had always wanted was shattered now him and his dad were just strangers. Without his father he had to be raised by his mother. His mother Laura Tucker had hoped that her child would be a girl and was disappointed when she gave birth to a boy. With her husband gone she could use Craig as she pleased. She made craig grow out his hair to shoulder length and wouldn’t allow him to cut it. She would always talk about how cute something she saw at the store would look on him or how much better he would be if he was a girl. She would basically use craig as a dress up doll until she got knocked up by kyles dad Mr. Broflovski and gave birth to Tricia. 

Even though he still wasn’t allowed to cut his hair at least he got a break from being a dress up toy. There were still down sides to having his hair down like that. Cartman would constantly make fun of him for his hair style because apparently Cartman thought that that hair style was ‘girly’ and a guy shouldn’t be wearing it. Cartmans insults never really bothered him since he knew Cartman makes fun of everyone and that it wasn’t just him. Even though Craig won’t admit it another reason why Cartmans teases don’t bother him is because Kenny says it looks cute and that it suited him. Whenever Kenny wasn’t out going on adventures with his friends he would be talking to Craig in his free time. Talking to Kenny was like a stress reliever he could tell Kenny his problems and Kenny would make him feel better. 

 Eventually Kenny grew distant they still talked but not as much as they would before. Craig knew this would happen eventually. Like he said before relationships are fleeting. He thought he would be prepared for when they grew distant be it turns out he was wrong. With the stress of exams coming up, his moms attention be fully on Tricia half the time, and keeping his grades up made Craig feel like he was trapped in a bubble that he couldn’t get out of. It wasn’t often that Craig would cut himself but when he did it sorta gave him a sense of relief. He was distracting the mental pain with physical pain. 

His stress levels went from ten to one hundred real quick when cartmans insults got worse. And when he tried to fight back and defend himself Cartman would get on the ground cry and play victim. And Craig being the stubborn bastard refused to tell the truth about why he hurt Cartman instead saying “I just felt like it” which made his mother even more distant. His occasional cutting turned to burning his skin with matches for fun. At this point instead of talking to someone when he felt sad he would use his moms pain killers.

they made him feel complete and happy like he had never felt before. And because of that he kept taking more and more doses of them that were beyond the recommended intake. When eventually he took too much and ended up in the hospital.

He Hadnt told anyone the reason on why he Did what he did apart from the answer “I was curious about death” which was an obvious lie for many reasons. But His mother didn’t care enough to press on the subject and left Craig in peace in the hospital bed.

 

———

The air around the dinner table felt tense as if saying ‘go away leave me alone’. It was as if the moment someone said a word everything would break into tiny tiny pieces. Craig was poking and prodding at his food as if doing that would suddenly make the food on his plate disappear.

”Craig honey you need to eat something” Craig’s mother Laura tucker said. The air got lighter as if a weigh had been lifted only for an even heavier atmosphere to appear. No one said a word no one even looked up from there plates all that could be heard was the sound of there utensils clinking against there plates.

”I’m gonna head upstairs” Craig murmured loud enough for his parents and sister to hear before dumping a whole plate of food into the trash. Craig knew it was wasteful and that he did need to eat but he didn’t feel like wasting his time eating at a dinner table with a family that doesn’t give a shit about him. Since the incident everyone takes everything he says and try’s to decode it even if the is no special meaning to what he’s saying. It’s torture waking up in the morning and having to see slits on your rists and arms for a part of your life that you know you can’t erase.

craig put a hand on his chest feeling his rib cage through his shirt. “Uggg” Craig groaned trying to find. Confortable position to lay down in. Craig had a gauntly body with his collar bone sticking out from beneath his skin in a awkward way and how thin his legs looked when standing side by side with other boys from his school. 

 “Moms right you need to eat something” Tricia said walking into the room.                   “Look at how thin your getting” she mumbled before putting her middle finger and thumb around his wrist. “Whatever” Craig groaned getting up to face her. “I promise tomorrow I’ll eat a proper meal” Craig smiled

”you promise?” Tricia asked

”promise”

———

“Come on we’ gonna be late for Hell™- I mean school”  it was Craig’s job to walk Tricia to school whenever his mother was using the car and couldn’t drive them. “Almost ready!” Tricia shouted from her room.

since the walk to school is thirty minutes they always have to wake up at around six in the morning so they have time to bathe and get dressed it might come in handy sometimes but since the time Craig went to bed at was around two in the morning it was pretty annoying to wake up tired and have to walk to school.

Craig heard someone shouting his name from behind him. He immediately identified the voice to be Kenny. And as always he was right.

”it’s been a while since I’ve since I’ve seen you tucker you’ve been in the hospital a while now” Kenny sound happy as usual.

”it’s only been a month though” Craig said

”your right but it feels like it’s been forever since I last saw you”

it had only been a few months since Craig was sent to the hospital for overdose. They were lucky to find him before he actually died. In the end he still had to get a kidney transplant.

”it feels wierd when I think about it. An organ from another persons body is inside of me” the thought of that always made Craig feel strange and nauseous. 

 “Moms also been making me go to therapy along with the doctor check ups so nothing like that doesn’t happen again.”

”that must be tough” 

“yeah it is” Craig said

”I’m sorry to ruin your little chit chat but you two have just been ignoring me this whole entire time” 

“oh sorry Tricia your so short I didn’t see you” Kenny joked 

“I’m not short I’m fun sized!” Tricia said while puffing our her cheeks

”Kenny how come your talking to me now we haven’t talked like this in a while.”

”well umm”


	2. Guinea pig talk

“Well umm I just felt like talking to you cause like you said we haven’t talked in a while. It was always fun talking to you”    
  
Craig’s face flushed a little and he prayed to god that no one had noticed it apart from him.   
  
”get a room” Tricia giggled   
  
”maybe we should” Kenny joked looking at Craig.    
  
———   
  
When they got to school Kenny walked straight to Kyle and Stan as usual    
  
“why were you hanging out with that dipshit Craig didn’t he like try to kill himself or something” Kyle asked.   
  
when Craig was sent to the hospital a bunch of rumors spread around the school each one more and more bizarre than the other. There was one were someone said that Craig tried to kill his family then killed himself which was obviously a lie cause he was standing there at school right now.   
  
when he stepped into the classroom all eyes were on him. He could hear whispers from his classmates varying from ‘didn’t he kill himself’ to ‘he Burnt down his house right?’   
  
craig felt that disappearing then and there would be the best thing that’s ever happened to him. But he knew that wouldn’t happen so he just took his seat.   
  
The lesson went as usual. The teacher would explain do a few problems then leave them to do there own work in their workbooks. Even though Craig tried his best to study he still got pretty normal grades. A few A+ and B+ here and there and a couple of C’s. Sometimes it was hard to focus on the lesson cause the scars got itchy and scratching them was all he could think about at the moment. He had been getting better slowly instead of keeping all his emotions to himself he wrote them down in a journal he kept under his bed. Although Craig was no longer aloud to have sharp objects by him while he was alone in Craig’s opinion he can fully handle himself being alone with a sharp object.   
  
  
  
While he was righting down his notes Craig felt a tug on his hair. This wasn’t unusual since the girl that sat behind him Theresa would always put his hair in pigtails cause she thought it looked cute. At first it bothered him but eventually Craig gave in and let her do what she wants with his hair. She always had a bunch of hair ties around her wrist as if she were prepared to do Craig’s hair even before he got to school. She always used her green hair ties or the ones with the bear charms on them.   
  
  
  
“You used to not like it when I did this to your hair what made you change your mind?” Theresa asked.   
  
“I knew you would keep doing even if I didn’t like it so I just gave in.”   
  
“Fairpoint” Theresa said before hearing Mr. Makey tell them to shut their mouths. Craig got along with Theresa fairly well sometimes they would spend whole periods talking to each other about random things. They could also bond over simple things like how they both had guinea pigs. Since they would get in trouble if they talked they just ended up passing notes till the end of the period.

 

———

 

“You and that girl seem pretty close you were passing notes the whole period.” Kenny said 

“She always gives me random hair styles once she gave me braids without me even noticing. I swear that girls magic” 

“Well that explains why you walked out of class that day with French braids” Kenny chuckled

“They looked good on you” Kenny added.

“Thanks” Craig smirks. Kenny was an expert at flattering people but Craig wasn’t gonna give in that easily.

 

Kenny was a huge fuckboy and everyone knew it but that didn’t stop girls from sleeping with him. He acted like an outgrown child half the time and had zero patience with an attention span of six seconds. That didn’t stop him from being charming though. He had a nice build that wasn’t to bulky and had a 100 watt smile. Sometimes Craig envied Kenny’s way of being happy all the time.

 

Craig’s happiest memories he can recall are him talking with Kenny he would always give him sincere compliments. Unlike the compliments that his mom would give him when she would dress him up and take pictures of him he actually like the compliments Kenny gave him. Craig shivered at the thought of his mom. When ever she dressed him up she would always call him Katy instead of Craig. Laura tucker would always have a new outfit prepared each day. One of the only ways he could get out of it whenever he had a test and needed to study. The dress up game would go on for hours and hours which meant he got less and less sleep. The teachers at his school started to notice how sleepy he would get during the day and when they pulled him to the guidance counselors office he was to embarrassed to tell them anything and just said he would stay up on his phone all night. 

 

“Hey your zoning out is something on your mind?” Kenny asked.

“Nothing much just worrying about upcoming exams and shit” Craig let out a fake laugh.

 

———

“You have anymore cute pics of your guinea pig?” Theresa asked curiously

“No I showed you all of them” Craig said

“Come to think of it you always show me pictures of your guinea pig but you never tell me where you got it” Theresa questioned. Craig has tried his best to forget the time his dad got him a guinea pig but it was all in vain cause he knew he could never forget. He remembered it like it was yesterday. 

  
  


“Daddy, you came home. I’m so happy,” exclaimed Craig. he hopped down and hugged him. His dad then turns around and heads back to the car. Very quickly he grabs a small cage like object. In his hand he carries a little crate. He sets it down on the floor and closes the house door. A small guinea pig came out of the crate and towards Craig. When his dad was on his way back from California, he got a guinea pig since her birthday was the day after he came back from LA. He picked up the dog and handed it to him “Here. He is all yours,”

 

Fighting the urge to tell the full story instead he just says four words.

“He was a gift”


	3. How did they actually meet?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is unedited so please excuse the mistakes

“Well that was a short answer. Anyway see you later. I’ll come back tomorrow with more pics of my guinea pig” Theresa said before walking away.

“See yah later” 

Craig turned around to see Kenny walking towards him. 

“Where were you I’ve been looking all over for you” Kenny asked

“I was talking with Theresa about guinea pigs and stuff” Craig said

“Oh that girl who you’ve been saying always messes with your hair.” Kenny asked

“Yeah that girl”

“You know we’re always going to your house but you’ve never seen mine before have you” 

“Nope never seen your house”

“Then we should go over tomorrow”

“Fine”

———

“We’re almost there just a few more blocks” Kenny says.

His neighborhood was pretty shitty. It had trash everywhere and shady looking alleyways. It’s is beyond Craig how someone can live here and feel safe.

“Here we are”

“Your house looks like trash” Craig said

“I know” Kenny told him before dragging Craig inside and slamming the door shut.

“Kenneth first you bring home a bunch of girls and now guys. We raised you terribly” his mom said face palming.

“Hey Craig!” Karen greeted

“Go back to bed Karen you're sick” Kenny said

“Ok but promise next time when you bring Craig over bring Tricia to” she says as she walks back to her room.

“So why’d you want me to come over to your house?” Craig asked 

“Just so we could chat I guess” 

“Chat about what?” Craig asked again 

“Idk random stuff”

 

The rest of the night they just ended up talking about Animals Close-Up With a Wide-Angle Lens, random adventures his gang had went on, and NASCAR.

There was one time when cartman pretended to have Tourette's syndrome. Or when they were trapped in a cave in. Kenny’s group was always getting into trouble in elementary school

Out of the blue Craig asked: “you remember the first time we met?” 

Only for Kenny to say that time they got sent to Peru. Even thought Craig knew that the first time they met was way before that he just dropped the subject to distracted by how itchy the scars on his arms had gotten 

 

———

Kenny and Craig met in elementary school before anyone else did when the Tucker’s family got a divorce. “Kenny I’ll give you five bucks if you ding dong ditch that house” and Kenny needing as much money he could get walked straight up the steps and rung the doorbell before he could run away the door had already swung open

“What do you want?” The person asked. The person was wearing a light blue dress with a dark blue headband. Kenny stayed silent unable to answer he was to busy staring at the person. Kenny heard a voice coming from behind them say:

“Who was at the door Katy?” 

“Some stranger mom” the person said before shutting the door in Kenny’s face.

That was the first time they met. Kenny might not have remembered it but Craig did clearly.

  
  



End file.
